Oh, Mama, You Are Not Alone, Coronavirus, or Not!
Dear mama/parent, you are NOT ALONE —
…in feeling overwhelmed, guilty, despair, unbalanced, frustrated, confused, lonely, worried, etc.
As if these feelings weren’t already dominating a mom’s life, the present times have only amplified it by several folds. Leaving us to question every single decision we are making, even more than ever before.
Should I —
send my kids to school or keep them home until this is all over?
step outside the house?
go to a restaurant?
take a road trip?
how safe is that?
should I feel guilty for thinking/feeling that way?
The list of questions goes on and on and on…
Not to forget how you are juggling work, home, kids, and trying to save the last of your sanity, including saving your job!
Homeschooling kids in between work meetings, waking up early, going to bed late, catching up on emails at 1 AM, without a chance to catch your breath…
That list goes on and on…
Mama, there is NO one-size-fits-all, there is NO right or wrong answer, what works for one kid, one mom, one family does not work for another, current times or not!
The ONLY thing that really matters though at the moment is if my kid is healthy, safe, fed, loved, and happy.
But do you know what the worst part about it all is?
‘Coronavirus is killing (working) mothers’.
That statement has become a universally accepted truth and reality!
Does that statement NOT bother you?
Reading such headlines all across the internet over and over makes me sick to my stomach and makes my blood boil even, because it SUCKS to hear that, but it is, unfortunately, true (in many households).
Why does the mother have to bear the brunt?
Why do these headlines exclude dads?
What is the underlying belief and expectation?
Seems our society was built that way, but ideally, SHOULDN’T be the case —
Equality begins at home (fight for equality begins at home), our kids are watching us and learning from us.
What are we teaching our younger generations?
Are we going to continue to feed the same kind of unfair and different expectations based on gender?
What can we do today?
Dear Mom, not to add one more thing to your overburdened life, but please do your absolute best to ensure that your partner shares equal responsibilities at home (of course, this might not be applicable to some families based on individual circumstances).
Ask yourself if have made every effort to fight the fight at home?
Don’t make excuses even before you try and give it your all before you give up!
Raising kids, feeding them, teaching them, playing with them, etc, is just as much a responsibility of the dad as it is yours (Coronavirus or NOT)!
Let’s change the narrative — for us (because every mom/woman deserves to been seen and treated as an equal), for our kids, and for all the future generations to come!!!
To the dads who already do this, this meaning —
sharing equal responsibilities at home and outside, in raising your kid, in treating your relationship with your partner as an equal partnership (and who is also currently feeling all of the above feelings and facing the same questions too) WELL DONE!
To the dads who haven’t been doing their bit, plz STEP UP, about damn time!
We shouldn’t have to live in a society, and raise our kids in a society where ‘Coronavirus is killing (working) mothers’ is ok to use.
Of course, there is more to that statement than ‘equality at home’, but if we can’t fix things at home then how can we fight the bigger battles to fix the mindset of several generations, the corporate world, and the boardroom?
Mamas (& dads), you are doing a darn good job, I hope you know that!
Please reach out to your friends and community when you are losing it (the overwhelm is real, the struggle is real, none of this is easy), even if only to vent, because sistah, you are NOT ALONE!
Sending you warm tight hugs, SOLIDARITY!
“Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.”